i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
