Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
