I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
