Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
