I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
