its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
