so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
