that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
