I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
