she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Found your dick twin last night
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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