i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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