Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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