Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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