He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm bleeding and have questions
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
