Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Randomize
