Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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