it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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