I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
