i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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