Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you inspire me to be a worse person
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
