i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
