If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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