But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize