did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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