They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
