If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
