so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
