The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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