I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
