She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
