There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
