I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize