have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
