It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize