My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
send nudes
from the living room?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
