we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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