No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
