you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
