She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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