Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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