people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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