dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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