he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
