dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize