and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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