I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize