Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize