no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
