If that was your dad, he is hot
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
