Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
