VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
