He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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