k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
