Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
