you guys were way drunker than both of me
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
