I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
