redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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