you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
