So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
