so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
