I looked at my own cervix.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
In other news, I just burned my penis
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize