So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize