the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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