I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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