He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
