I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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